Getting used to an ICD

I generally take everything in my stride, and I don’t easily get upset by health issues, but I did find it hard to get used to the idea of needing an ICD. It was almost as hard to come to terms with as my diagnosis of DCM. It wasn’t the fear of the procedure, but an unease about having an implant for the rest of my life – a sense of ‘What on earth am I doing to my body?’ It was implanted as a precaution. Maybe if I’d had a cardiac arrest or a life-threatening VT/VF it wouldn’t feel like such a big step to take. What’s difficult about a precautionary ICD is that it feels optional. It feels as if you are choosing to have something unpleasant done, which may have serious long-term implications, but the need for it seems remote and unreal. 

On the other hand, getting used to the ICD itself was quick and easy. I had no psychological issues, and very few physical ones. My wounds healed quickly, with no problems. I was kept well informed throughout. 

I have had three appropriate shocks over the years. When the first one
happened it suddenly became really easy to accept that I needed the ICD! Twice I have been shocked while I was doing moderately strenuous exercise, but the third time I was simply having a shower.

I had one shock when I was unconscious: it was completely painless. I felt faint for a moment, and woke up on the floor 15 seconds later. I didn’t feel groggy, no gradual recovery – I was instantly ‘back in the room’. I felt exhausted and in need of some care, but euphoric. It was much more alarming for bystanders than it was for me. My friends wanted to rush me to A&E, but I insisted it wasn’t necessary.

I have had two shocks while conscious. It was not pleasant, but it was over so quickly that I had no time to be worried by it. It felt like an electric shock from another source: a jolt in the chest. I have never been kicked by a horse, but I imagine that would be far worse! 

After each shock I phoned the ICD clinic the next morning, and went in to be checked over (very reassuring). All the time I have had an ICD, I have been very well looked after – my health professionals have always made time to see me and reassure me.

We are grateful to Hugh for allowing us to share his story.

©Cardiomyopathy UK. April 2018